I have been frantically working  at creative stuff up until coronation. Which I didn't attend. The presents were well received. Now, I am empty. I don't know why I am so up and downish. I am running after the rush of good work, often the result is less than what I had imagined even more dispappointed than before. 

An Idea is like a fire. and it burns and consumes whatever energy I have been able to save from my every day life, which some days feels like such a drain. I know I should get moving, clean up the house, do laundry or at least write. I am healthy, no headaches prevent me from getting up. but the idea of it is already such a drain. I know that feeling. I have only recently stopped taking my anti depressents. I get a lot more creative energy since then. And I am feeling fine most of the time. I just also feel exhausted most of the time. 

I do have time for myself, I am merely wasting it. And I know it. Maybe I am just a lazy prick. then again I need to check in with my doctor tomorrow or on friday getting some blood work done, since there is the possibility that I am suffering from Hashimoto which is an auto immune disease attacing the thyroid (if I understood it correctly), which could also have an effect on my energy swings. then again, I also just switched contraceptives, which resulted in me having a life again during my *special* days, but hormoen level changes can also do a lot to your system. and it might just be the regular Period up and downs somehow interacting.

what ever it is... I am annoyed. Mostly at myself.