Curentyl my life is a mess. I am a housestuck mom with two kids and a husband who is making a career by going all over the world (which is part of the housestuck but only because I am not in any shape to hold a job as a single mum with two kids one of which has serious demands on extra time due to her dyslexia and giftedness and our shitty school system.) I quit being a self employed lawyer last year because I was in a bad depression and working in this area worsened my condition. And I believed I might be ab le to make it as a writer. I was - for a while- really sure that I could make it as a writer. After making that choice I have not been written anything worth mentioning. My grandmother died and I haven't really faced this. We are four active people with various hobbys in a 73 square meter appartment. our household is falling apart. And I am not able to keep it together. Laundry is piling up ever since our old washine machine broke down and the new one is taking Ages to wash (it is a used one. Sigh) My kids are sick at stupid times (I know that is to be expected). I cannot finish one thing in peace. Instead I am stuck in this mess since I am unable to get these things done. they pile up. unfinished. it is like I am scared to start anything new because I expect it to be something else on that huge pile. I worked almost three hours in the kitchen. It still looks like before. Instead of getting to the necessary sorting and cleaning of the shelves and throw out what needs to be thrown out etc. I had to thaw the freezer, because somebody didn't close it correctly before we left on saturday. To do that I had to clean it out, store the stuff (in sauna wether, too) clean clean clean. I managed to get a little else done but then I had to cook food and deal with my older kid. etc etc. Hubby and I are having Issues regarding money and how to spend it, or NOT. we changed accounts this year and not everything got handled all that well and we are having to deal with some repercussions now. Which is a really bad time since he is on two other continents this months and all in all maybe 6 days here, while there is vacation time. full vacation. meaning including the little one. We don't have a house and our garden is two flights of stairs down. so summer vacation is going to cost even staying here....SIGH
It is not really bad.
It just is a real
Mess
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
wortschmiedin
Comments
Failing that, you could get yourself a wife to help out with the house while you do your writing ;-)
Nuxie really HAS to close her shop in order to catch up on orders, she is taking the kids to my in-laws for a way too long time. and I'm gona miss em like crazy.
so theoretically, I have time to do lots of redecorating, re-modeling, gardening etc. but its a daunting task all by my lonesome. and yes, I'd rather be playing music...
also, Nuxie's folks are in the midst of a foreclsoure of their property and things could be a little weird with them over the next few weeks. their car will be repossessed, the blue book value is $10K, they owe $18K. similar story with the house, really- they overpaid during the height of the housing market bubble in California, now they are upside down on that, too. and they're both unemployed at the worst possible time. so they will have time for the kids, but whther its quality time or not: who knows?
anyway, my <3 goes out to you, and I'm sending good thoughts your way.
Good thoughts to you too
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't beat yourself up about this. I think we feel that being SAHMs we're supposed to have some amazing grasp on things, but cut yourself some slack. It's hard to keep a house clean when people are in it all day, messing it up as fast as you can tidy, distracting you with some crisis as soon as you get started on a project. I mean, at the end of your life is the most satisfying thing you can say about yourself, "Boy, I really managed the house!" :)