The Writing Madness

Moving day ahead

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:36:01 GMT

well, the husband situation hasn't really changed though a lot of lipservice has been payed. I am moving on Sunday baring any disasters. The movers are coming tomorrow and I am still very sick. Not as bad as yesterday mind you, but I should still spend a day at least in bed, which - at this point is utterly impossible. My husband's returning later than anticipated since the peeps that booked his travel stuff have booked him a train that leaves before his flight lands thus his eta at home is yet undeterminable :( also the inlaws who want to be picked up from the trainstation still have not given me a time frame for their arrival, Which annoys me a bit. I said I'd make it possible (but now the time frames have changed :() but that doesn't mean I couldn't do with some additional planning info. Plus, They should know (since I told them about 10 times that my mobile isn't functional and that on Mondays I am driving around like crazy and have very little at home time :( :(

The Kiddo is slightly better than the day before yesterday, I am not sure that it is an additional step since yesterday, actually I suspect it is a step backwards :(

I managed to get most of the pertinent packing problems handled, expect for one but I should be able to deal with it in the come two or so hours I hope. between coughing fits and sneezing fits I supose.

before anyone (again) asks. I am fairly sure that this is NOT swineflu. It is November my little one got wet and then my mum didn't MAKE her change her clothes and then I didn't see that the shoes she choose were soaking wet. Two days later she starts on a mild cough and very slowly developed a cold. A viscous cold but a cold. and about three days into cuddling her and comforting her I get sick too, slowly getting worse. PLUS I was vaccinated (both seasonal and Swine) about two and a half weeks ago and I was fine after that. It is not the freaking flu it is just Fall! (END rant here, you guys weren't teh ones who got on my nerves with this so you shouldn't have to bear my annoyance, sorry.

I will still be online until Friday I suppose but after that I will have to wait until I get my I-net/TV/telephone plan all figured out, paid and set up. In Arlington. It still seems rather unreal to me even with all the boxes around me.

crisis (sob post, ignore at will)

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 08:03:46 GMT

I should be working l ike mad. The move is only two weeks away, i am alone with the kids until then, the place is a total mess since we came back from Berlin/Virginia. It is the first day since then that I didn't wake up with a headache.

I had a fight yesterday with my husband, just before I drove him to the station so that he could leave us again to go to Brazil. For work. He will be doing that a lot when we are in the US and I don't really object to that. I like him having fun and seeing the world, while he is at the same time providing for us big time. WHat I don't like is his recent behavior.

I get that this whole thing is as big for him as it is for me. Only, her knows what he is getting into. I don't. All might be well, actually, I expect it will be. BUt I don't know any of the people that I will socialize with, I don#t even know if I will be having any sensible amount of time to myself as the childcare situation in Arlington looks rather abyssmal right now.

Also I am handling this ENTIRE moving thingie on my own with a couple of sabotaging intercessions of my family: hubby and the kids. I have to do almost a forth of what I do at least 6 times. And he is not only not getting any of this, he is ignoring me.

He doesn't do what I ask him to do ( he agrees to do and them gets reminded five times to do it) he doesn't listen and he doesn't care. He is entirely self absorbed. Right now I am not even sure that I should move with him. I mean can I just hope that this will pass when the only thing that has happened over the last couple of years is that it is getting worse?

He is teaching the kids that it is effetive to ignore me.
he says he is sorry and the NEXT day he does EXACTly the same ??

I am terriffied right now. I don't know what to do. Except crying and that doesn't really help either.

need help

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:55:44 GMT

as you all know, we are moving. I sold quite a bit of furniture to a friend/aquaintance. We discussed the price briefly I said I would be happy about 1000€ (there are two antique pieces in this two sofas, a double bunkbed, and various other things. today I find an eamil saying: I will be transferring 800 into your account, is that ok?

What am I to do?
she had said she needed to run it by her husband but I still think that
(a) her husband is a major player in a big lawfirm
(b) the price was truly fair for both of us, 800 isn't
(c) she says I am her friend and we had discussed payment after th 1000 decision in terms of when etc without any indication that she considered the price too high.
(d)she now has about 90 percent of the stuff already in her home
and I am reluctant to accept this bad offer, since I think it is very bad form.

I mailed back saying something like OOps I thought we had agreed on 1000. If she writes back insting on 800 what should I do?
any suggestions here?

Hail the earl!

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:53:41 GMT

Vivant to the new Crownprince and Crownprincess of Drachenwald:

Thorvaldr and Fiona! Victorious in the most abyssmal of weather, the succession is secured :)

:S

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:42:11 GMT

The apartment is rather empty and at the same time it is way to full. Nothing has a place and everything is still needed. At least those things that are not yet totally packed away. I am at this point, which I knew would be coming, when all is getting on my nerves because we are not actually moving forward while haveing all teh downs of the situation. LIke stuff not having a place. Usually I am slowed down by otehr people. I don't know why but I can best work when I am physically alone. And the house was packed Friday through sunday. My dad was playing *I am a little boy with littel control over my sublimation over my daughter and grandchildren leaving the continent* which basically translated into being a total jerk and very generous and then being a total jerk about being generous over the course of four days. I - personally- think that being over 60 and not yet senile should give you the necessary skillset to cope without treating your Kid badly, but hey that is just me.

Yesterday afternoon was - as usual- eaten up by various appointments the kids needed to be driven to (and me staying around to dwindle my thumbs while shitloads of work are waiting here) BUt the kids were happy again at their english classes.

I met with a highschool friend who just moved back to this place at a restaurant for dinner. Little did I know that the construction on the street it is on would be in full swing in the middle of the night. So instead of eating at a nice cozy place with good atmosphere I was eating on a footballfield (man, those lights are bright) and instead of some meaningless music I had jackhammer noise. I have been battling with a headachestint, (bad weather plus a real idiotic hairdresser's screw up with my neck, sigh)

I am in a crappy mood, I know it and I expect it to pass soon, Probably after I had the morning of thursday to myself.

tired and slow

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:36:32 GMT

So, two sets of furniture have already been removed, Including the bed (noticed that the Lattenrost is broken and either needs to be fixed before we go or substituted :()

I am dealing quite ok with all this throw-things-out, but the bed was difficult. Hubby had built it after tons of nudging and it was just perfect. Sturdy, Solid wood,no movement other than the mattrace giving way to your body. I loved that bed. I really did. But there was no way it made sense to take along to the US. So, we sold it and today it got picked up. Sigh. I stayed out of the bedroom for the time it got dismantled (it was really sturdy).

The guys are coming back one more time, to get the *closets* We call it a schrank, but I have yet to find the right word to translate it, but that is what we use as *closets* here, since typically german houses don't have closests. They decided against taking hubby's comfy seat, so that will go into the garbage in November, but the good news is, that he still has it for the remaining four weeks. ( only two and a half of which he will be here)

I was a good girl and basically packed the stuff that was in those sideboards and cupboards directly so that they are moving ready. I also put the clothes into a box, but we might need them in the meantime. I should get one of these transport your clothes hanging containers, only that we won't, we'll move them in suitcases, maybe my inlaws, will lend us their guest stuff hanging rail :)

Now, all that I am left with are a mattrace, my folding camping chair and a real mess. SIgh. hubby is coming back tomorrow. I put all the garbage bags that I used during this episode into the tub since there was no other place for it. and I will charge hubby with the task of getting them into the car and to the dump site. I try not too hard to think about the fact that very little of this stuff actually qualifies as garbage in my book (or else it would have been thrown out long ago) But it is amazing how much clutter you accumulate in your life. clutter that makes total sense in one setting and none whatsoever in another. I still don't know if we got rid of enough for a 20 foot container rather than a 40 foot one... And hubby still has to sift through tons of stuff, sigh. I hope this time he DOES it. I had to discard an estimated 2 tons of empty wire hangers from his closet. arrrghgh.

And then there are the people who point (quite reasonably but also anoyingly insistent) out that we shouldn't throw this stuff away. and they keep pointing it out regardless of the fact that we will be moving in six weeks, four of which I am still around two of which I am alone with the kids and I have NO energy anymore. I have asked around, but peeps are very specific about what they like and they don't really want used stuff it seems. also, they are busy, and have trouble with saying I will pick it up then and then... I don't need additional stress factors, thank you very much much. BUt it is surprisingly stressful to adress those insistent remarks.

also everybody and their second cousin wants to know everything about this move from ME. I am happy to go but I am thinking of this are primarily HUbby's baby, I would like him to be the person to explain the whys and hows and whens, but no, he isn't here.. so I get to do it over and over again. SIgh. these kind and interested people also put out all their concerns. And then I get to adress those concerns (most of which are IMO either naive or really weird, like: OMG, you'll have to live without a bed for at least 6 weeks....? I mean... really??? I have a mattrace and a perfectly functioning floor, what is the problem????

Sigh. BUt basically I am just ranting about the fact that I am tired and way too slow for my own liking. Since:
WE ARE MOVING IN SIX WEEKS: YAY!

when wishes come true

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 07:13:21 GMT

Hubby's security clearance got through. we got the notification today. All will be going according to plan it seems. We will have the letter of appointment in time to go househunting in October. How many yays do you think it is worth. YAYAYAYAYAYAA.....YAYY!

wishful thinking

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 09:53:10 GMT

I wish the security check would come through soon. Actually I wish it would come through today but I know that it can't because I know that at least one of the persons they emailed about hubby responded friday night. I also know that some peeps were conacted (like his employer e.g. but they didn't give any information besides confirming that he was indeed working for them but that teh law on data security prevented them to say anything else before they habe obtained his consent. They did that right away, but it seems the investigators have not yet come back to them about it. SIgh. Everybody is just doing their jobs so that hubby can get his. I know that, otoh we have planned to go washington in October on what hubby calls *a fact finding mission*. Ideally We would like to sign a lease for November, we can only do that if the contract is signed by then. If it has to be, hubby could do it on the thirteens, when we are there, but I would feel os much better if it was at least scheduled for then ;).

I also wish I wouldn't find it so hard to get rid of our stuff. Actually I have sold a good part of our furniture already I have someone who is considering to take our car in November, I got rid of maybe 60 % of our books sorted quite a bit of stuff into the fleamarket boxes (which I hope to get rid of the staurday after next) and I have been to the garbage disposal site almost daily for a week, and while the place is looking emptier it is still so far to go before I am where I think we should be. the good news, is that I almost emptied at least three cupboards and teh kids room is empty except for the stuff we are going to take along (except the one box that I need to sift through) SIgh. I wish I had done that already too.

I also wish this was a bit easier. If all goes well this will be over in 64 days.
*scary*

:(

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:01:15 GMT

Part of me wants to do Brot wurst and Horseradish and the other says that we REALLY don't have the time

Writer's Block: Top of the Charts

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:37:46 GMT

What's the most-played song in your music library?

View 2051 Answers

It used to be Ventura Highway of America these days it is defintely:
HE'S A PIRATE

OMG

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:01:49 GMT

My hubby has just had a conversation with his boss to be and apparently they think that 1st decemebr is cutting it close for a number of things to work out properly, they'd preferr him to start sometime in November and though that security check is not done yet we actually need to start making arrangements. I am still planning on me and the girls going on the 29th of November, but it looks like I should be looking for thre flights on that date not four. And maybe Hubby will actually fly out of Hamburg after University. I am getting somewhat scared.

me loves the peeps here

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 12:12:52 GMT

I can sleep easy again. Regardless of wether or not I will be able to attend the Dragon in Winter event; the Event that I was supposed to be headcook of; the Event that I helped birth and plan (And currently it looks less and less likely that I will) THERE WILL BE AWESOME FOOD. because I secured a replacement. the MOST AWESOME replacement. Master Giano has agreed to head the kitchenstaff!! I am sooooooo relieved. and it is all teh more awesome as he is doing headcook at Uni only two weeks before that!

moving issues

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 08:55:40 GMT

Ahh the things that moving makes you adress. My husband comes from the Ahr region. Those of you who are into wines know they make a splendid Red (Spätburgunder ) and it is close to the Mosel, where the Great Rieslings come from. So we have some whines in our basement. It is not enough to be called a cellar, but it does actually ammount to a decent numer which would be packed into about 4 to 7 boxes. We would like to take them (even though we are willing to celebrate quite a bit in the coming months ;) ) And that IS permissable (importing wine for personal use) but the Federal authorities state that one needs to make sure that the state the goods arrive in are ok with it and pay whatever taxes they deem fit. So I have been looking for the Maryland State Liquor Authority a rather fruitless taks it seems, Sigh.

I am in fact now certain that I am allowed to bring some of my preserves and Nuspli (a nut nougat spread something like Nutella)

the more problematic issue is the one of householdeffects which have been in *use* are in a possiblity to use for at least one year in my household. I am sure I bought some things in the last 12 months which I would have to list, but I would be hard pressed to say which ones. Also, how about Fabric which I have had in store but which has not exactly been Used yet. It is not all that easy to comply with the law. Sigh. I think most of our Medieval stuff is younger than 132 months, but most of that has been bought used. There is this one wooden Box, which I bought used for a bout 20 € but I don't have a receipt or anything... SIgh.

But since we don't actually yet have a moving timeline or anything even remotely like it (so far everything is guesswork) I am not sure that I need to fret all that much yet, but since I can't help it anyways, I might at least put that fretting to good use.
(BTW if any of you knows somebody living in teh Bethesda area of Maryland and they look at moving soon...We are looking for a house to rent 4 bedrooms preferrably on the inside of the Potomac as my husband would like to bike to teh WOrld Bank, and we are looking at relocation in December or January)

my kid is in trouble

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:25:55 GMT

I have posted time and again about how miy kid is haveing trouble in school. mostly there was a lot of ranting about the teacher. Well, the good news is: that lady is gone. Renée is beside herself with bliss. her old teacher is back. the problem I am now dealing with is that Renée is not doing as she is told. NOT. EVER. It is not that she won't do what you ask her to do. She will simply not do What you tell her to do right away. She starts with saying what she is going to do, making elaborate plans, sometimes gets lost in them. her concetration skilss have deteriorated so badly I am dismayed. After all we have done, she is still unable to call herself to attention at least most of teh time. And this problem will come with her to DC. If we cannot change this now, I have no Idea on how to do anything about it anymore. The classteacher also already noticed. And reacted to a missive that I thoght there was too much homework to do in half an hour (I really wonder on what they base their assessment on what is sufficient/appropriate for half an hour and on who's performance they are basing it) So we are on again. SIGH. I am hoping to have her new Atttention and Writing skill improvment class set up. I wonder, why doesn't she learn this in school?. Can it be right that she has to attend school do all her homework and then go and have additional traing three times a week??? No wonder she has a hard time concentarting. BUt in the end, she has to cope somehow. I am so frustrated, I am almost giving up. WHICH is teh one thing I am not alowed to do. Not with her. She needs me. I am just so pissed that that is the case. School is supposed to TEACH ALL THAT TO EVERY CHILD!

Still only flexing fingers (Beyond part3)

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 10:18:15 GMT

"Sally!" The cry was accomanied by a chestcrushing hug and followed by a kiss from her husband's full lips.
She was slow to respond, her brain still felt like it was swaddled in cotton balls. BUt she let herself be caught by his strong arms, and be steadied by the security of his presence. the fact, that she had, now, finally stepped out of something that didn't even have substance, her father's shadow.
She found enough will power to kiss him back, short, putting an end to her weakness and pulling away slightly. He pulled her back into a half embrace walking her towards a group of people sitting in a lounge like setting.Sally rubbed her forehead, then looked up and saw six men and seven women. Their features suggested a very varied genetical background. Two of the men looks asian, three of the women were a varied shade of black and one lady was a goregous latina, with black sleek hair to die for, Sally grabbed into her short shock of unruly ash colored waves.
"Guys", Albert's strong baritone oozed pleasure and pride as he gathered everybody's attention. "This is Sally. My wife."
The resulting welcoming sounds were varied but nonetheless friendly. Albert introduced the lady to his right first. She was a sportive looking redhead with freckles all over a face that held a beaming smile."Sally, this is Bea. She will captain the MS."
"Pleased to meet you, Captain", Sally murmured.
The acknowledging "Ms. Bowers," was accompanied by a friendly nod. Bea turned the seat slightly and nodded towards a man sitting to her right, "Ms. Bowers, this is Marcus Toben, he is one of our engineer." Toben was a brown man. He had brown hair, chocolate colored eyes and bronze skin. He leaned back a bit and Bea went on, "And this is Matt Wiesel, he is reponsible for navigation and charting." The navigator was probably the most attractiove asian Man she had ever seen. He wore his shining black hair long enough to fall onto his shoulders and his eyes looked black from where Sally stood. His nose was narrow and traight and he had a lovely smile. She nodded, becoming surer with every minute that she wouldn't be able to rememeber all the names. Ad she knew that the crew of the MS was much bigger and that wasn't even counting the settlers But she would not forget the name of the next Person. She doubted anybody ever had. Estrelle Sanchez should have been in television or modelling. But instead she seemed to have chosen to become an Exobiologist. She wasn't strictly speaking a crew member, but She was not strictly a settler either and that would put her on equal footing with Albert, who was in charge of the Settlers. He would be in charge of planning initial settlement and organizing the communication with Earth if all went well. The other asian looking guy was Hun Li, he was in charge of communication in space, her brain shut down before it captured the names of the three black laides and the remaining men. Sally swayed slightly and Albert uregd her to sit down.
"I am sorry", Sally apolozied weakly, "The meds didn't agree with me it seems."
The captain stood, "Well, Ms. Bowers, I am sure all will be well after your next 9HS. We were done here anyway. Albert, I am glad that it worked out. I am looking forward to our trip. We'll start boarding in 27."Albert nodded and the shook hands, apparentyl the rest of the group decided that this was the signal to leave, and tehy all shuffled out, leaving Sally and her husband alone. She looked at him. he wasn't tall but she herself was tiny, so even when she stood next to him she had to look up. Once again, she enjoyed the feeling of security she always had around him. "What did the captain say?"
He cuckled,"You'l learn all these strange things soon enough. Your 9 HS, would be your 9 hours sleeping interval. And 27 simply means in 27 hours. Days will have a lot less emaning on board. I have not yet figured out how far they will go with counting the hours. Do you want something to drink?"
"That would be lovely."
She let herself sink against the backrest of her seat. When he gave her a glass of water she gulped it down, feeling as if the water was flushing away the remnants of the meds.
"My dad was there."
"Did you expect anything else?" He sat down next to her.
"No, but I had hoped."
He sighed. She turned to him, "Is there anything he could do to revent the launch?"
He looked worried but he slowly shook his head. "I don't think so. But to be perfectly honest your father is a cunning man."

*

TBC

Beyond part(let) 2

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:03:07 GMT

Her brain felt mushy. Slow. as if she didn't actually have access to all of its capacity. She felt tired, reluctant to move. She still hadn't seen Albert. Quarantine only made sense if there was no cross contamination she got that, but it still would have been nice to at least have a look into his grey eyes. She really hated the drugs cleaning out her system but she guessed it beat being in isolation for more than 14 days. But then again., thinking hurt so maybe she should just stick with the hate. She had always been a non nonsense kind of decorator. The occasional Picture of painting on the wall, but no tidbits, sprawled over the mantle piece, no sculptures. One white wall after another had guarded her way into the Iso-cell. nobody to talk to but the techmed. She had thought it would have been calming, but to be honest she didn't feel like talking al that much.

*

tbc

Flexing my fingers:

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:58:53 GMT

BEYOND

So this would be it.

No more sunlight for at least two years. And after that...who knew? Albert was excited. He had always wanted to go, and his enthusiasm had been contagious. The physical had checked out, the security check had been done. They even had reviewed her credentials even though she was coming purely on the spousal directive. She had always considered the idea of credentials for settlers to be somewhat weird a thought. Most of what made people successful in real life wasn't their credentials. It was the set of skills one has or acquired without a diploma. The effective use of a kind voice, the skill to challenge people to their best even without asking something of them. the ability to connect with people. And even then, you wouldn't need one type. People had this notion of *the best* being one particular set of abilities and knowlegde, whereas she was convinced that a successful team of settlers would not just be a smart mix of skills and abilities but also of personality types.

She wondered if she would find friends among the selected, or if she would remain the recluse that she had been here. Funnily enough, in her book this tendency to rely mostly upon herself and her reluctance to bond with new people would have disqualified her in her own book, then again it might have disqualified her if it hadn't been for the spousal directive.

She looked around in their small apartment, the landlady did a poor job at hiding her impatience, but Sally decided that she didn't care. For a last time she took in the familiar sound of the dripping faucet combined with the faint rush of traffic through the open window. No more fresh air. For a moment she paniced at the though of breathing nothing but conditioned air. Then, she decided to get a grip and let the keys drop into the landlady's outstreched hand. It made a little jingling noise.
"Well, then", the lady said in that nasal voice Sally had always found disgusting, "That is that. We will transfer the deposit to the account that you gave us, provided everything checks out."
Sally's eyes narrowed.
"And what exactly , Ms.Prickston, could not be checking out? We made the rounds."
"Well, we always make another tour without the tenant. just to make sure everything is in order for our next tenant."
Sally raised an eyebrow" Indeed? We had a grafitti on our living room wall when we moved in. So you have changed policy?"
"Well, ehm, yes. After this incident..."
Sally didn't believe a word. Actually she had seen a van parking on the street, so she assumed the keys would go straight to the next tenant. She didn't really care, it was none of her business anymore but she loved to give the lady a good scare
"Well, just to warn you. I have left power of attorney with my father. You will have to turn all your question and deamnds towards Jeremy Caruthers, I left his adress with your office, and he is very... reluctant to pay a penny more than legally necessary on anything."
"Caruthers?" Ms. Prickston paled and swallowed. There was, after all, a certain benefit to being the daughter of the biggest landowner in teh City. Mosty it just sucked being the daughter of a powerhungry, egotistic controlfreak. The only reason she was willing to give him that much power was because she was going to leave surface after quarantine. And not even her father would be able to get into quarantine. He had offered to buy all her assets on surface after it had become clear that she would not divorce Albert and stay. He had given her a decent price, but then he always offered good business.. And They had been able to purchase as much of the supplies that were going on the MS 1-02 to remain in their personal possession once they touched ground. Albert had been planning this out ever since the first oportunity had shown itself. Suddenly she couldn't wait any longer. She nodded curtly good by and waited for the elevator . It took way too long but dashing down 20 flights of stairs wasn't really her kind of fun either. When she left the building she suddenly realized that there were still a million things that could go wrong. She left her car and instead hailed a transport and gave him the address, then leaned back , almost vanishing into her seat.

Traffic was a desaster but she paid it no heed. After about an hour the transport stopped and she alighted into the street. She took a quick look around an groaned when she saw the blue limosine. A man opened the door and tipped his hat. For a moment Sally was tempted to ignore the howl thing. Simply go into the vault that would seal her off from the rest of the surface. But then habit kicked in and she went to the car. She looked inside but stayed on teh street, leaning onto the door "Dad"
"You are really set to go?"
"I said so, didn't I?"
"Sally, this is no game. You shouldn't go because you are ticked off at me."
The laugh she couldn't supress was unhappy, "You are not that important to me"
He cocked his head,
"I am sorry that I wasn't a better father, but still: You could still divorce him. I have the papers right here. You know that if he leaves the planet without you it counts as consent."
"Which is exactly why I should not linger."
"Sally, please."
"Dad, don't make this easier than it already is. I wish you a good life."
"Don't I get a kiss?"
"Good bye dad."
She slammed the door shut, turned away from the car and towards the fenced lot across the street.
her new life awaited her

*
to be continued

Back to the future

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:19:42 GMT

Hello, here I am again. The event was awesome.

(I wish I could post pictures, but apparently something in my account prohibits this. So for those interested in pictures here is where they are acessiblehttp://picasaweb.google.com/traumspindel/ThePeaceOfLissberg?authkey=Gv1sRgCOmskJ-npLq7DQ#)

We had a little weather glitch on wednesday night and Thursday afternoon, but other than that the weather was glorious. The event staff did a phenomenal job. there was plenty of breakfast every morning, early enough for the early riser that I am, and late enough for the rest of the crowd. Lunch was invariably yummy and there was a lot of lovely people present, even if some hadn't made it who had intended being there. My kids were running around often unsupervised the site was a castle with walls around the camping site and there was plenty of company for all of us. On Thursday Lord William and his lovely Lady Katharina had invited us to dinner, knowing we would compromise their most authentic camp display even going so far as bringing Ketchup to go with the spätzle for the kids. They are just another case of of people trying their darn best (and theirs is goooood) to be authentic without placing an equal burden on anybody else. they were very laid back about the whole issue while cooking documented (and yummy) food in three legged pottery on the fire. They were on it more or less the entire afternoon, working together brilliantly (though they seemed to be dissatisfied with their teamwork) Katharina let my try on her frilled headdress, which looked nice on me, but not as splendidly as on here and the length bothered me tremendiously. Eventually I will simply have to get ma a couple of headcloths' and learn a turban that won't fall off, methinx. We had dinner by candle light and fire while some rain was still falling but things were just cosy under their canopy. They didn't mind me bringing my beloved (and very evilly modern, though covered) folding chair So I was comfy enough that I didn't mind when my little one fell asleep on my lap. the humid weather was bugging me and I kept changing my wardrobe, drawing quite a number of comments to that effect, but we went from deluge to sunburn through everything in between on those two days.

Their majesties arrived friday night and found me disgracefully drunk, dispensing *wisdoms* that had not been asked for, stepping out of the line of behaviour I have decided to display for the first time in a decade methinx. But nobody seemes to mind or they hid it well in the morning. I just wished more people would simply grab their chance at being happy and stopp pining for the thing they don't have (like me wanting to be an 8, although I may just be able to become a 12 again ;))

there was a lot of singing and such things well into the night and I went to my wobbly bed, while the rest of my family was already deep in dreamland.

Saturday was teh day we had scheduled for Lydia's B day celebration, but we had not considered that the curia was going to take place at teh same time. Silly us. It still worked out and to my daughter delight four horses entered the castle while they were playing some game outside. She got to do a couple of rounds on one of them (their showing up having been an accident or a grace whichever you believe). i finished my family duties and cleaned up after us as well as I could, watched the tourney for a bit and then took on my duties as Queen's entourage again (this time I had been asked on site which meant I came unprepared. I didn't even bring sneakers) We leaft almost immediately for her makesties daily frolic which means, we walked into the next village in badly fitting shoes (my mistake) and glorious weather (no shade) a hilly countryside and the necessity to b e back at 5 pm for court. We managed all that, but my feet still hurt and I vowed to get me trainers today 8since my feet are no longer swollen ;)) I was a bit slower than the others and had told them to walk along resolved to sit down and rest a bit before walking on again, but suddenly resting my feet before actually being where I wanted to be with no drink in sight sounded like a bad Idea, thus I walked on and was even in Time for court, too, but I wasn't supposed to attend the queen, even though the other lady had been called to an emotional emergency. Surprised´, but not ungarteful, I sank into my aforementioned covered evilly modern comfortable chair and waited until I had to get up again for the crown.

I think after some initial annoncement it was that my husband was called before the queen. She was sternly telling him that she had just passed an edict that whoever was going to emmigrate would be stuck into the dungeons. But she had decided, that he should at least do it in a station that would befit his demeanor and honor, and elevated him to Lordship. then they send him to fetch me. I hobbled towards the lovely cushion and probably made a most ungraceful reveranza, but then my queen told me that she could not join me to my husband in the dungeons with him outranking me. We so had not seen this coming. Not that day. We had hoped that, if at al,l it might happen on the dragon in winter but frankly I had used my non status like a shield in discussion revolving around peerage and awards and beyond that I had not much thought about it. But it was gracious of their majesties to acknoledge that we had truly become a part of this comunity and that we will be missed (they will be missed too, regardless of the lovely populace of Atlantia we are going to meet soon, some of which have already generously offered their assistance) the rest of court passed in a blur, with me admiring the scroll lovely aryanhwy had made for us. It is a thing of utter beauty. Not too flashy, excellently executed, and looking so very neat. I am still not sure how to frame it. I fear that putting it behind glass, where it would belong, will take away from the shine of the gold, and the evenness of the parchment. I am afraid we will most likely not hang it in our current home. then again, we are still here for a couple of months.

I have been resting my feet mostly yesterday, but I guess at some time I will have to use em again;)

Off to the middle ages again

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 09:57:00 GMT

Folks, I am out of office. Gone. Bye bye. I am going to the peace of Lissberg I have assmeble most of the *to pack* things already and now all I need is a decent shower and get dressed. The site opens at 17 so we will be leaving in about 2+ hourse, methinx. So far , though, the car has not packed itself. SIgh. BUt hubby is here, grin, and he promised to do the packing :D YAY.
TTYL

What I did (w/o pics, sorry :( )

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:18:22 GMT

well, so no pictures then. Sigh: well I have been sewing like mad these last days. Nothing new, sigh. Renée turned 8 last month and on her Bday party we had a total turn out of TWO. everybody else she invited was on vacation or had something else to do(someof them had said they'd come and then didn't :( ) To make up for that not totally unexpected situation I had promised my girl that we would be celebrating her Bday at Lissberg, which is the POST pennsic event here in Drachenwald (quite a number of people actually are doing both, that is what I call comittment). We also had let her know that in that case she would be getting her medieval presents at Lissberg. She will get a set of smurfhide leather covered armor (she already has a sword) So far I have not been able to get around to make her a gambeson, which I may or may not try to do today. But I made her a lovely florentine dress, orleanseed dyed wool, embroidered with burgundian red silk, lined with Linen, and a rose colored velvet overdress, embroidered with white silk (the hem is yet unfinished because I need her to put it on once before I can do that) WHile I had been working on that dress, Manou grew. I mean she REALLY made a dash for it, I am not sure that any of her old dresses are still acceptable (the red linen one might be) and she kept begging that she wanted a dress that had a swinging skirt. I had seen the kirtle with a waistseam page of Mme Cadieux and found a lovely light blue wool for 3 € a meter So I made her one... and that turned out way too beautiful, for Renée not to be jealous since hers is supposed to be something special for her Birthday, but the blue wool looks so much finer. Not better, finer. Apparently I also learned a lot making Renée's dress and that shows too. The light blue dress looks very elegant on my little pixie and she is extatic about it, which is very new. Usually she only tolerates me doing things for her. I also did something to make our tent a bit bigger. I am not at all sure that it has worked but the tenthide is back sewn together, and awaits testing at Lissberg. For myself I had sewn a burgundian set and hadn't gotten around to finishing my chemise (which I made out of silk, I am big enough without bulging fabric under my dress, TYVM). I also madde a kirtle which has a white part. I used Lady Fiona's advice that sometimes, to save money, somebody would make the bodice out of what she called *fasion fabric* and the hem part and the rest would be done in linen or so, since nobdy was going to see that anyways. I had a lovely suit fabric, purple wool, which I had wanted to have for myself but had been aware of me not ever being able to shrink enough for it to become a full dress, and it went lovely with the light blue of the burgundian overdress. For that I have made myself an apron so I can wear it without the overgown.It doesn't look like all that much. It doesn't read like all that much, but it kept me pretty busy for the last couple of days. Oh, and I made beef jerky for my husband as the required 'ransom' for the tourney. one batch is VERY mild, and the other is rather hot. but they are both tasty and chevy and I guess that is the most important part. I'll go shopping sometime today and then tomorrow off we go to enjoy the rest of Renée's vacation as a familiy going camping.

Why?

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 12:50:32 GMT

Why can I not upload any pictures into my posts??

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:03:48 GMT

could not upload pictures :(

Writer's Block: Don't You Forget about Me

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 07:58:51 GMT

RIP John Hughes. In honor of the master of the teen movie, what is your favorite teen flick?

View 505 Answers

The breakfast club was my all time favorite followed closely by Ferris Beuler's day off. The later I still like but the first was much bigger back then with me and my friends, I watched it as a grow up a couple of months back and it goes to say: DON'T EVER WATCH MOVIES you loved as a teeny again, it will just spoil the memory.

Sorry and excited

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:03:34 GMT

We are going! We will leave this lovely place with all these cool people (at least for some time) behind and go to another cool place: DC. Most likely Fairfax county. And we will be able to have a house, and a garden. Probably around the turn of the year.

on: me

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:38:03 GMT

I realize this blog is currently very turning very emo. It used to be about writing, but the sad truth is that I have written a mere 10K this entire year. On one novel, too. No short stories, no exercises, no experiments. Bad writer. This way, I do know I will never get published. It is one thing I excell at and it is called self sabotage. But I have been stuck in this stupid emotional situation, which should make me want to flee into another world and get absorbed by a story, but the truth is, that I haven't even read more than maybe two book entirely during these last two years. And I was an avid reader. But these days, I tend to lose interest in the stories. I get annoyed with the writing or the storiy just doesn't grab me. Plus, there is a lot I am doing and getting direct credit for which is a much nicer experience than working your ass off and doubting yourself the entire time.

Let me tell you what happened to me About two years ago I discovered, that yes, I can write. I am good at it. Characterization is easy for me, as is choosing the right words to move a story along. my life has not been exceptionally in any way other than - maybe - exceptionally brain driven. I used to be very different as a kid. Always the dreamer, the soft one, the one that would talk back for those who couldn't, the one that smelled the roses. I am not sure what changed me so much, but it may just have been my political awakening. To this day, it can happen that I hear about something I find horrible and will start crying - like a baby. I have been belittled for that emotional way, and it has been perceieved as weak, as compromising the results of my analytical deductions, regardless of the fact that there is no evidence that it actually has, compromised the analytical process. It has just sometimes made it harder for me, than for others. So, to succeed at the law, I had to focus on my brain. That may not have been a smart thing to do. I am seriously unbalanced. I am very much a functioning member of society. I am a decent mother and I try to be a good friend and wife. I have tried to become a happy person by changing so much that I finally theoretically should have fitted in but realized about two years ago, that maybe, I am not meant to fit in. That maybe I was ok the way I has, I distinctly remeber being happier as a kid. as a general mindset that is, because I am not all that unhappy. WHO could be unhappy with these wonderful kids and such a loving family.

And still, I got depressed. That too started about two years ago. When my grandmother started to fail. My grandmother was one of the most important people in my life, she died this January. I dream of her almost every night, and I can rarely speak about her without - guess waht - tearing up. I have been very much disrupted in grieving, though. because my little ladys simply occupied the spot of 'person falling apart' and they have a knack for showing up and demanding my attention whenever I get thinking about her.There was a lot of getting sick, maybe dying and them recovering, this back and forth was nervewrecking. When she died, this January, I was getting out of the depression. I had been on medication for more than half a year and stopped taking the pills right around that time. I wish I could simply let it all out. no disruptions.just me and her. I miss her. I miss her a lot. And I am angry at her, because she went willingly. I am just still stuck in that part of teh process and unable to actually use it craetively. Instead I focus on doing things she taught me, like sewing and embroidery and such, she would approve of that. I had therapy last year too, but that didn't help all that much, since I had very clever reasons for being pissed at the world. But since the lady flatout refused to change the world for me tehre really wasn't all that much help there.

Also two years ago my husban made his first try for securing a postion of work that would get us to move to the US. At that point I didn't tell my grandma about it. One of the few secrets I kept from her. She would have encouraged me to go, but she would also have been miserable at the thought of not seeing me again. My husband didn't get the job in the end, but since then he has retried twice and this time it does look even better. I just wish I would know. Iknow he should get the job. He as crosscultural people skills, that are simply amazing, pluss an excellent mind and the proper credentials. He is wasted at his current job and not properly appreciated. So I am sure it is only a matter of time until it will happen, but at the same time I cannot be sure that it will work out this time (have to wait until at least September). This tension is keeping me dancing a tight rope and - as I said -I feel terribly unbalanced. I keep hoping that I won't fall, wondering if I should jump when Instead I SHOULD focus on dancing the dance of my life.

I feel as unstructured and unorganized in my mind like this whine. I have on a personal level so many things that I should give attention when most of my attention is centered and demanded by my lovely kids. I hate parenting :( I love being with them, but I hate manipulation in any way shape or form, so you see: parenting is simply not what I enjoy doing. I hate school (now maybe more than ever having a gifted, dyslexic child) but it seems I will be stuck with that for another decade too. I need space, and I life in a cramped apartment. I hate constant noise (having frequent migraines and such) and now the construction site over teh street is finally seeing some action.

I just hope the job thing comes through this time. The pay would enable us to have a house, even in the crazy DC area. I saw some lovely property in Fairfax the other day ;) Maybe If I could just quit holding my breath, I might actually find it im me to breathe again